Long Distance Relationship

STEPS :
Ask the important questions at the onset, to make sure you are both clear on the parameters of the relationship. Setting parameters such as naming your relationship (dating, seeing each other, boyfriend/girlfriend, engaged)as well defining exclusive(limited to one person,) non exclusive. These can be difficult and awkward questions to ask, but will save you great heartache and misunderstanding down the line. Example: "Are you open to the possibility of relocating if the relationship should it become more serious?" or "What are you looking to get out of the relationship?". Stating your end goal or ideas will allow each person to maintain what they need.
Do things together. Defy the distance. As a long distance couple, it's important to do other things together besides the usual phone call. In a long distance relationship, interaction over the phone can become dull in the long run. Incorporating other forms of interaction are important. Just think... people in short-distance relationships do not spend the majority of their time talking, but rather doing things with each other. Try to replicate this by finding things to do together such as watching a TV show or movie simultaneously. For an extensive list of more things you can do with each other (or for each other) click here: 70 Activities & Ideas for LDR Couples!
Communicate in some way every day, more than once if possible. Since you won't be seeing each other, it's important to establish and maintain an emotional connection. These don't always have to be long, in-depth conversations. Tell each other about your little triumphs and tragedies. Ask for advice. Use an instant messenger program or VoIP for real-time chat, or web cams for that visual connection. E-mail is great so make sure you use it, especially if long-distance phone calls put a strain on your budget. Remember that e-mail and even instant messengers can increase the possibility of misunderstandings. Write love letters. Send small gifts or flowers for no reason. In this case, quantity is as important as quality. You may discover an advantage over others whose partner is close at hand - you don't take communication for granted!
Take advantage of the benefits a long distance relationship offers: more time with friends and/or family, no arguments over toothpaste caps, the pleasure of seeing your sweetheart again after a long absence, time to mull your options (rather than snapping at your partner impulsively) before you respond to that email s/he wrote that seemed so rude the first time you read it, etc. Most important, being far apart gives you a chance to maintain your individuality - something that can get lost in the shuffle when couples spend all their free time together.
Pursue common interests, even if it means pursuing them apart. If there's a movie you're both interested in seeing, watch it individually and then call each other afterward and talk about it. Read a certain book at the same time. Stargaze while you're on the phone. Set your watches to go off at the same time every day, and synchronize your alarm with that of your partner. Make it a point to think of each other when your watch goes off, and revel in the fact that he or she is thinking about you, too. Find creative ways to bond.
Avoid the temptation to be controlling. People have free will and no one can or should control another person. As long as you are both interested in being in the relationship, you will stick with it and distance will not make a difference. As soon as one of you decides the other is not a good match - or someone else is a better match - your relationship ends, whether you live 3000 miles apart, two streets over, or share the same bed with your wedding picture on the wall. You are going to have to trust each other completely if this relationship is going to work.
Talk about your future together. Assuming that ultimately you'd want to live together, discussing how you're going to get to that point will help you prove to each other that the relationship is going somewhere and that your efforts and frustrations are not in vain.
Know when to say good-bye. While this is tough in any relationship, this can be especially hard over long distances. When communication becomes one-sided or sparse for too long and for no apparent reason, when arguments (yes, you'll have them) become too frequent, when the whole thing just seems like more trouble than it's worth, it's time to re-evaluate the relationship. You have to remember that for a healthy relationship, no matter how far or close, you must be willing to let go.
Remember: things will get better with time, and even the relationship will become better. Have hope.
Visit often Try to make the time to visit each other as often as possible or as often as your budget permits you to. A relationship cannot thrive if the only thing you have is the phone calls. You need to see each other up close and personal every chance you get. The key here is to set up some "rules" about frequency of communication and visits and stick to them, consistency can help a LDR survive.
Avoid jealousy and be trusting One of the easiest ways to destroy a perfectly healthy relationship is to poison it with jealousy and drama. When you start a long distance relationship you must be realistic of the difficulties ahead. It always helps if you go in a relationship with the idea that everyone is innocent and worth of trust until proven otherwise. Don't fall in the trap to interrogate your partner every time he/she decides to go out for a drink with people you haven't met or he/she didn't get back to you right away when you called and left a message. Just because you are in a LDR, you lives won't pause. Your partner will naturally have a social life where he/she lives and so should you. Sure it helps to have your eyes open and not be totally naive but being overly suspicious is unhealthy for you and your relationship too. You should both maintain your social activity and be happy with yourselves.
Be positive Staying positive and not focusing on the negative aspects of a LDR is essential to keeping your relationship blooming and your partner content. Being away from your sweetie is not all bad news. Use the opportunity of personal time to pursue your interests and hobbies as well as your career objectives. Another positive points it that long distance dating pushes both of you to be more creative, communicate better since you don't have "face-to-face" time and test your feelings. As long as you see the long distance relationship as a temporary state, you will keep your chin up and transmit that feeling of security and happiness to your partner too.
Long distance dating is all about a balanced relationship between partners; a relationship built on strong foundations of trust, understanding and determination to make it work. The two partners should be reasonable about their expectations and willing to cooperate so that this relationship can lead to a happy ending. If these parameters are taken care of, you have nothing to worry about. For more information about Long Distance Relationships, click here:Long Distance Relationships community website

How To Read Body Language

Steps

1. Gauge how close someone is to you. The closer they are, the warmer their opinions are of you. The farther away that someone is, the less they care. It is worth noting that personal space is culturally fluid: be aware that what is close in one country is far away in another.
2. Watch their head position.
• Overly tilted heads are a potential sign of sympathy. Alternatively the person is trying to convince you of their honesty.
• Lowered heads indicate a reason to hide something. Take note if someone lowers their head. If it is when he is complimented, he may be shy, ashamed, timid, keeping distance from the other person, in disbelief, or thinking to himself. If it is after an explanation, then he may be unsure if what he said was correct.
3. It should be noted that some cultures see this as a sign of respect.
• Cocked heads mean that they are confused or challenging you, depending on eye, eyebrow, and mouth gestures.
4. Look into their eyes.
• Liars will consecutively look at you and look away a number of times. You can actually learn specifically how to observe behavior to judge whether someone's lying.
• People who look away while supposedly listening to you are thinking about something else. This is why when you are talking to a group of people, if an item in conversation strikes the one looking away, they will ask for you to repeat the story.
• Some cultures believe that looking at someone in the eyes is a sign of disrespect.
• Auditory learners may look from side-to-side and repeat phrases in an effort to retain information.
5. See if they're mirroring you. Mirroring is another common gesture. If someone mirrors, or mimics your appearance, this is a very genuine sign that they are interested in you.
6. Check their arms.
• People with crossed arms are closing themselves to social influence. The worst thing that you can do to people with crossed arms is to challenge them in one way or another, no matter how they react. This annoys them. Though some people just cross their arms as a habit, they're (slightly) reserved, they're uncomfortable with their weight (therefor trying to hide it), or they're just trying to hide something on their shirt.
• If someone rests their arms behind their neck, they are open to what is being discussed and interested in listening more. They may be waiting to state their opinion on the matter.
• Look at the location of their hands. If their hands are in their pockets, then they are more relaxed and are more likely to be attracted to you.
7. Be aware of nervous gestures:
• If someone brushes their hair back with their fingers, their thoughts about something conflict with yours. They might not voice this. If you see raised eyebrows during this time, you can be pretty sure that they disagree with you.
• If the person wears glasses, and is constantly pushing them up onto their nose again, with a slight frown, that may also indicate they disagree with what you are saying. Look to make sure they push up their glasses with an intent, not casually adjusting them. Look for pushing on the rim with two fingers, or an extra motion of wiggling the side of their glasses. The frown or raised eyebrows should tip you off.
• If they are playing or fiddling with their hair (a girl may twirl a lock of her tresses around a finger), they are feeling self-conscious and possibly uncomfortable.
• If someone is biting their lip, they are anticipating something.
• Lowered eyebrows and squinted eyes illustrate an attempt at understanding what is being said or going on. It's usually skeptical. (Or maybe they have a problem seeing things eg. short sightedness, astigmatism...)
8. Watch their feet:
• A fast tapping, shifting of weight, or movement of the foot will most often mean that the person is excited, nervous, scared, or intimidated.
• Slowly shifting weight usually means that someone is distracted, uncomfortable, or bored.
9. The eyes play a very important part:
• Dilated pupils mean that the person is interested. Keep in mind, however, that alcohol causes pupils to dilate, as does cocaine, amphetamines, MDMA and LSD. Don't mistake having a few drinks for attraction.
• Looking to the side means that the person feels guilty.

Tips

• It's easy to spot a confident person, they will make prolonged eye contact and have a strong posture.
• If people laugh excessively, it may be dishonest, or they just might be very naturally jovial, or just happy. Use your best judgment. Some people laugh out of nervousness.
• Don't isolate yourself by constantly examining body language when interacting with people otherwise there is no reason to gain a social upper hand anyway. This is paralysis by analysis.
• Watch the face, it will usually give off a quick involuntary and sometimes subconcious twitch when something happens that irritates, excites, or amuses them.
• Mimicking your actions means that the person is comfortable around you.
• Realize that most body language you see is obvious things, like frowning, stroking the chin, etc.

Warnings

• Unfortunately, there are always exceptions. Some people's body languages are not a representation of how they feel. This is where your instincts must decide.
• There are wide cultural differences, so body language will differ in other countries.
• Some people know how to control their body and are able to project false, misleading signs. Like thieves or good liars for example.

How To Ask A Girl Out

Steps

1. Make sure you are up for it, and you don't want to give her any false ideas. Look somewhat decent, showing that you are trying. Don't show up wearing over-powering cologne; one squirt is enough. Just enough for her to notice you when talking to you but not for somebody across the room to notice. Also make sure you are not nervous. Girls hate that and you may get rejected.

1. Greet her in . Mundane activities like grocery shopping or more exhilarating ones like snowboarding are great ways for her to get to know you, although inviting her for having coffee at a Cafe, or even a drink at a bar are not only great ideas, but traditional as well. After you and she have had the opportunity to "feel" each other out, find a time in the conversation where it would be appropriate to ask her out. The way you would ask her is quite simple in fact. An example would be: "Hey I'm going/doing ACTIVITY this weekend. How would you like to tag along? I promise it'll be fun." Say this with a small smile, teasingly. Do NOT use cheesy pickup lines (e.g., turning out your pants pockets then asking "do you want to kiss the rabbit between the ears?"), as they are not you and you will likely get rejected. The example doesn't have to be followed verbatim, you can ask it in whatever way you feel is comfortable, but the important part is that you make a time to see her, and ask if she wants to come with you.
2. Spend time with her and a group of other people (not a one-on-one date). This will make her feel more comfortable as it's not as intense as being out as a couple.
3. If she is a good friend of yours, don't make her feel uncomfortable, but ask her out & tell her that you really like her.
4. Ask her when you two are ALONE. Having others around you will stir pressure on her to say yes or no. Also, make sure the girl you are asking out is genuine and will really like you - not just because she has a good figure or is popular.

• Important! When you ask her out always show confidence.

Tips

• Be Confident-Hold your head up, confidence is key for success.
• Have fun - don't try to be serious all the time! Most of them like to have some fun every now and then.
• Before you meet her, make a list of creative ways to ask the girl out. Then pick the best one.
• Be extremely nice and treat her with respect. This is a must. If you can't treat a girl right, don't even bother trying.
• Become her friend. This is half the battle, and at the very worst at least you have one more friend than you had before.
• Make sure her past relationship is completely over and done with.
• Be calm and confident. If you're sweating and stuttering, that girl will feel nervous about going out with you. Girls want guys that are confident, but not cocky.
• Some girls prefer to be called "sexy" or "hot." Others prefer to be called "lovely" or "beautiful." Make sure you don't use the wrong word. There are other good ones too, like "stunning," "irresistible," "really something," "gorgeous," "radiant", etc. Try not to get stuck on just one.
• Some girls don't care what a guy who she doesn't know thinks of her looks.
• Practice talking to her. If you feel uncomfortable talking to her, you probably aren't ready to ask her out.
• Think of subjects to discuss on the date; stories about yourself (not gross ones and not ones that are too elaborate and can't be understood right off the bat!), things you want to know about her, etc. in advance
• Being relaxed and confident is the difference between a comfortable silence and an unbearable silence. It's natural to have breaks in the conversation. Don't sweat it.
• If you get nervous when you go to ask her out, don't worry about it. As long as you are comfortable around her and in conversation, it'll be fine!
• Smell nice when you go to ask her out! Smell is a big turn off! At least put on some deodorant, and don't overdo the cologne (some find it offending). Also, be careful about wearing strong aftershave. Some girls like the smell, while others don't. Just make sure you know if she likes/dislikes it.
• Girls hate it when you have a friend ask them out. Otherwise, they get all confused and will not talk to you if she doesn't know the real deal.
• If you are not sure if it's the right thing to do don't do it. You want a girl you know is interested in you, so don't rush.
• Joking around with her, even if it's in your nature, isn't always the best thing to do when asking her out. Show her that you can go outside of your element for her. Besides, if you're already laughing and you bring it up stupidly (ex. saying "Oh yeah, we should go out.") then she may not take it seriously.
• Don't be afraid of rejection! Most girls have big hearts and will let you down very easily, if at all. Some girls agree to one date just because you asked and they're being nice. Don't take it the wrong way, it simply means she likes you enough to not hurt your feelings but not enough that she's ready for a relationship.
• Try Double Dating when you first go out.
• Remember the three P's of dating. For it to be a date it has to be Planned Ahead, Paid for, and Paired Off. Have a plan, don't go out there winging it because you'll do something stupid. If you're a guy, be a man and respect the girl enough to pay for her. Paired off, you don't have to be completely exclusive but it allows the date to be loyal to you in all the activities which leads to deeper bonds and deeper trust.
• If the girl says "No," don't get really annoyed and show it. If you don't get annoyed and still get to know her better and then you ask again in about a couple of weeks she might say yes (if this doesn't work just give up)
• Let her know that you really like her or else she might think you just want to have a short relationship.
• Have fun. No girl wants to be with a guy who is boring.
• Be confident. It's a little weird when someone starts to stutter and say "um" a lot. When you ask her out always show confidence.
• When you do approach the girl, try not to start the conversation by a "Hey, can I talk to you?" or a "Can I ask you something?". Don't ask her out randomly, but these lines are giant hints that you are about to ask her out. This would be awkward.
• Another thing by the same guy who said not to e-mail ask, ask her out, most people are scared, do you know why, because of the big NO, don't worry, if you really really love her it should work for you.
• Don't wait! There is never a perfect time.
• If you went out with a girl and she broke up with you then DO NOT ask one of her close friends to go out with you less than a month later. She will say no because she's not sure if her friend will be cool with you two going out.
• Ask her out a few months later (e.g. If you asked a girl out in November, then you should probably ask her out in late January)
• If you are looking at her and she starts to turn towards you don't turn and look in the opposite direction. It can make her think you are not confident and you will never get her.
• DO NOT let her know you read this. It will almost definitely make you seem like you aren't confident enough to try it yourself.
• And if you want to read her body language but don't want her to notice if she sits in front of you in a class you could look at her but you have to make sure you pay attention so you don't get in trouble.
• And if you break up with her but she really likes you, you could say "I really hope we can still be friends." Because if you don't she would get very upset and think you might never want to talk to her again.
• Smile most of the time when you want to ask her out, girls love guys who smile.
• This is the 21st century. Girls have money, too. She may take it as an insult if you insist on paying for everything.
• When you get ready to ask the big question, glance at the floor whilst you ask half the question and then pause, and then look deep into her eyes and ask half the rest softly.
• A good way to ask is "I heard about this movie, _______. What do you think about it?" If she says she'd like to see it, ask if she'd want to see it with you. If she says "As in a date?", don't be afraid to say yes. If she doesn't, just make a time, turn up and treat it like a date and she'll get the drift.

Warnings

• If you give her a note, leave it in her locker, because it gives her time to think about it before she gets around to answering it. Remember, dates are about seeing if you think you would have a chance with someone!
• Try to be mature around her! No girl likes a guy who tells cheesy jokes or plays with food!
• Absolutely don't ask in front of anyone else, because it might embarrass her.
• Keep your hands to yourself! Trying to get physical with a girl right away just tells her that you consider her to be an object and not an actual person.
• Be persistent, but not too persistent. If she turns you down gently, then she's politely telling you she's not interested. If she flat out refuses, back away. You don't want any girl to think you're a stalker.
• If you have to ask her out through a friend, you will get a "no" by default. Girls do not enjoy hearing, "Hey! I'm asking you out for (Name of guy). He doesn't like you enough to overcome his lack of confidence." They will hear this regardless of how tactful your friend is, unless her friend is a very close friend to both you and herself.
• Do not ask right away; you will always get a "no" just because she can always say she doesn't know you well enough. This one is big, get to know them well, then when you're both ready, ask her out cool and calm, and never try to kiss her on a first date unless you're positive that you both want to.
• Do not try to buy her the world on the first date (e.g. teddies, etc.) because she might not want to develop the relationship.
• Don't keep prying at a rejection. It's okay to ask how come if she says no, but don't be invasive.
• Make sure you don't have bad breath! If you do they will assume that you do most of the time! Be careful and clean!
• It wouldn't be the best choice to ask a girl out by e-mail because she might think you're to scared to ask her out in person. But it would be okay if you guys weren't going to see each other for a while and you wanted to ask her out before somebody else scooped her up.
• Find out about the activities and hobbies she likes but try not to get to know her too much because when the time comes she might think of you as just a friend.
• Don't talk about your class.
• Don't look anywhere else while you're talking to her, this is considered rude and she might brush you off for it.
• Don't talk about another girl when you're on a date with her. Even if you're just talking about something that girl did in class, she will think you notice other girls more than you notice her.

Source by wikihow

How To Get A Girl

1. Have your own life. If you tend to fall into the "friend zone", this is especially important. Girls don't like guys who have no lives, and who cling to them like plastic wrap. Actually, some girls do like that, but usually for all the wrong reasons--either they're insecure and needy for attention, or they're control freaks who like to dominate guys. Unless you want to sign up for either of those scenarios, focus filling your time with your own friendships, interests, and goals.
2. Make an impression. There's no one-size-fits-all solution here. What impresses one girl might make another roll her eyes. Your best bet is to be yourself. Demonstrate a unique skill or talent that you're proud of, something that sets you apart from the crowd. Not only will this make her feel good about you, but it can boost your confidence, too.
3. Flirt. When you see or meet a girl you like, make brief eye contact. Smile. Strike up a casual conversation. Most importantly, relax. Don't think of her as the girl of your dreams; don't worry about what will happen if you make a bad joke, or you've got something stuck to your teeth. Enjoy interacting with this attractive, friendly girl whose path crossed yours. Live in the moment.
4. Talk to her. Tell her what you really enjoy in life, what gets you excited and what you want to leap out of bed to pursue. Ask her what she really loves in life and what gets her excited. Be positive. If you have had a bad day, still greet them with pleasure and a big smile. Most importantly, listen.
5. Be romantic. The stereotypical icons of romance (roses, candles and chocolate) can only go so far. Think about what really gets that special someone excited. Recognize what makes her unique, and find/do things for them that only they would appreciate. What are her quirky (perhaps secret) interests, obsessions and fantasies? Whenever she's shopping, talking, or watching a movie, what makes her eyes light up? Pay attention! Being romantic means acknowledging how special a person is, and that means demonstrating that you know--better than anyone else in the world--what makes her unique.
6. Break the touch barrier. There are several ways to touch a girl without being sleazy. Hold her coat while she puts it on. Offer her your hand when she's stepping on an uneven surface. Hold out your elbow so she can link arms with you as you walk together. Hold out your hand so you can lead her through a crowd. Rub her hands when they're cold. These are all polite ways to get a little closer without being creepy. Still, if you see any signs of discomfort, stop! Otherwise, she'll probably enjoy the affection.
7. Compliment her. If you really like this girl, you probably appreciate a lot of things about her. Why not let her know? If anything is different or new (her hairstyle, nail polish color, shirt), make note of it. The more unique the compliment, the better received it will be, unless she's shallow. Most girls like being complimented on something that makes them distinct, not something that plenty of other girls have. If you compliment her appearance, try to be original. Better yet, compliment her personality or skills.
8. Make her laugh. Telling jokes or funny stories is the classic way to make a person laugh, but not the only one. Find out which are her favorite comedians, funny movies, or sitcoms. Watch them with her. Be bold and think of some antics that'll make her laugh. Tell her to dare you to do something, then do it (as long as it's not dangerous or illegal, of course).
9. Ask her out. Invite her to go somewhere or do something with you--make sure it's something that you're both interested in. If you want, show her your world. Bring her somewhere that you feel comfortable and preferably, where you have or do something that you're proud of. Or, express interest in seeing her world. Is she a musician? Ask if you can see her perform. Is she a mathematician? Ask to read her report or thesis. Or, just go out for lunch or a cup of coffee and get to know her better.

Source by Wikihow

ReligiousViews

Christian

The Christian understanding is that love comes from God. The love of man and woman—eros in Greek—and the unselfish love of others (agape), are often contrasted as "ascending" and "descending" love, respectively, but are ultimately the same thing.

There are several Greek words for "love" that are regularly referred to in Christian circles.

• Agape: In the New Testament, agapē is charitable, selfless, altruistic, and unconditional. It is parental love, seen as creating goodness in the world; it is the way God is seen to love humanity, and it is seen as the kind of love that Christians aspire to have for one another.
• Phileo: Also used in the New Testament, phileo is a human response to something that is found to be delightful. Also known as "brotherly love."
• Two other words for love in the Greek language, eros (sexual love) and storge (child-to-parent love), were never used in the New Testament.

Christians believe that to Love God with all your heart, mind, and strength and Love your neighbor as yourself are the two most important things in life (the greatest commandment of the Jewish Torah, according to Jesus; cf. Gospel of Mark chapter 12, verses 28–34). Saint Augustine summarized this when he wrote "Love God, and do as thou wilt."

The Apostle Paul glorified love as the most important virtue of all. Describing love in the famous poem in 1 Corinthians, he wrote, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres." (1 Cor. 13:4–7, NIV)

The Apostle John wrote, "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God's one and only Son." (John 3:16–18, NIV)

John also wrote, "Dear friends, let us love one another for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love." (1 John 4:7–8, NIV)

Saint Augustine says that one must be able to decipher the difference between love and lust. Lust, according to Saint Augustine, is an overindulgence, but to love and be loved is what he has sought for his entire life. He even says, “I was in love with love.” Finally, he does fall in love and is loved back, by God. Saint Augustine says the only one who can love you truly and fully is God, because love with a human only allows for flaws such as “jealousy, suspicion, fear, anger, and contention.” According to Saint Augustine, to love God is “to attain the peace which is yours.” (Saint Augustine Confessions)

Christian theologians see God as the source of love, which is mirrored in humans and their own loving relationships. Influential Christian theologian C.S. Lewis wrote a book called The Four Loves.

Benedict XVI wrote his first encyclical on "God is love." He said that a human being, created in the image of God, who is love, is able to practice love; to give himself to God and others (agape) and by receiving and experiencing God's love in contemplation (eros). This life of love, according to him, is the life of the saints such as Teresa of Calcutta and the Blessed Virgin Mary and is the direction Christians take when they believe that God loves them.

Buddhist

In Buddhism, Kāma is sensuous, sexual love. It is an obstacle on the path to enlightenment, since it is selfish.

Karuṇā is compassion and mercy, which reduces the suffering of others. It is complementary to wisdom and is necessary for enlightenment.

Adveṣa and maitrī are benevolent love. This love is unconditional and requires considerable self-acceptance. This is quite different from ordinary love, which is usually about attachment and sex and which rarely occurs without self-interest. Instead, in Buddhism it refers to detachment and unselfish interest in others' welfare.

The Bodhisattva ideal in Mahayana Buddhism involves the complete renunciation of oneself in order to take on the burden of a suffering world. The strongest motivation one has in order to take the path of the Bodhisattva is the idea of salvation within unselfish, altruistic love for all sentient beings.

Indic and Hindu

In Hinduism, kāma is pleasurable, sexual love, personified by the god Kamadeva. For many Hindu schools, it is the third end (artha) in life. Kamadeva is often pictured holding a bow of sugar cane and an arrow of flowers; he may ride upon a great parrot. He is usually accompanied by his consort Rati and his companion Vasanta, lord of the spring season. Stone images of Kaama and Rati can be seen on the door of the Chenna Keshava temple at Belur, in Karnataka, India. Maara is another name for kāma.

In contrast to kāma, prema—or prem—refers to elevated love. Karuna is compassion and mercy, which impels one to help reduce the suffering of others. Bhakti is a Sanskrit term, meaning "loving devotion to the supreme God." A person who practices bhakti is called a bhakta. Hindu writers, theologians, and philosophers have distinguished nine forms of bhakti, which can be found in the Bhagavatha-Purana and works by Tulsidas. The philosophical work Narada Bhakti Sutras, written by an unknown author (presumed to be Narada), distinguishes eleven forms of love.

Arabic and Islamic

In a sense, love does encompass the Islamic view of life as universal brotherhood that applies to all who hold the faith. There are no direct references stating that God is love, but amongst the 99 names of God (Allah), there is the name Al-Wadud, or "the Loving One," which is found in Surah 11:90 as well as Surah 85:14. It refers to God as being "full of loving kindness." All who hold the faith have God's love, but to what degree or effort he has pleased God depends on the individual itself.

Ishq, or divine love, is the emphasis of Sufism. Sufis believe that love is a projection of the essence of God to the universe. God desires to recognize beauty, and as if one looks at a mirror to see oneself, God "looks" at itself within the dynamics of nature. Since everything is a reflection of God, the school of Sufism practices to see the beauty inside the apparently ugly. Sufism is often referred to as the religion of love. God in Sufism is referred to in three main terms, which are the Lover, Loved, and Beloved, with the last of these terms being often seen in Sufi poetry. A common viewpoint of Sufism is that through love, humankind can get back to its inherent purity and grace. The saints of Sufism are infamous for being "drunk" due to their love of God; hence, the constant reference to wine in Sufi poetry and music.

Jewish

In Hebrew, Ahava is the most commonly used term for both interpersonal love and love of God. Other related, but dissimilar, terms are Chen (grace) and Hesed, which basically combines the meaning of "affection" and "compassion" and is sometimes rendered in English as "loving-kindness."

Judaism employs a wide definition of love, both among people and between man and the Deity. Regarding the former, the Torah states, "Love your neighbor like yourself" (Leviticus 19:18). As for the latter, one is commanded to love God "with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your might" (Deuteronomy 6:5), taken by the Mishnah (a central text of the Jewish oral law) to refer to good deeds, willingness to sacrifice one's life rather than commit certain serious transgressions, willingness to sacrifice all of one's possessions, and being grateful to the Lord despite adversity (tractate Berachoth 9:5). Rabbinic literature differs as to how this love can be developed, e.g., by contemplating divine deeds or witnessing the marvels of nature.

As for love between marital partners, this is deemed an essential ingredient to life: "See life with the wife you love" (Ecclesiastes 9:9). The biblical book Song of Solomon is considered a romantically phrased metaphor of love between God and his people, but in its plain reading, reads like a love song.

The 20th-century Rabbi Eliyahu Eliezer Dessler is frequently quoted as defining love from the Jewish point of view as "giving without expecting to take" (from his Michtav me-Eliyahu, Vol. 1). Romantic love per se has few echoes in Jewish literature, although the Medieval Rabbi Judah Halevi wrote romantic poetry in Arabic in his younger years (he appears to have regretted this later).

Cultural Views

Persian

Even after all this time

The sun never says to the earth, "You owe me."

Look what happens with a Love like that!

—It lights the whole Sky. (Hafiz)

Rumi, Hafez and Sa'di are icons of the passion and love that the Persian culture and language present. The Persian word for love is eshgh, deriving from the Arabic ishq. In the Persian culture, everything is encompassed by love and all is for love, starting from loving friends and family, husbands and wives, and eventually reaching the divine love that is the ultimate goal in life. Over seven centuries ago, Sa'di wrote:

The children of Adam are limbs of one body

Having been created of one essence.

When the calamity of time afflicts one limb

The other limbs cannot remain at rest.

If you have no sympathy for the troubles of others

You are not worthy to be called by the name of "man."

Chinese and other Sinic cultures

The traditional Chinese character for love (愛) consists of a heart (middle) inside of "accept," "feel," or "perceive," which shows a graceful emotion.

In contemporary Chinese language and culture, several terms or root words are used for the concept of love:

• It was the Qing‘s emperor first word of name.

• Ai (愛) is used as a verb (e.g., Wo ai ni, "I love you") or as a noun, especially in aiqing (愛情), "love" or "romance." In mainland China since 1949, airen (愛人, originally "lover," or more literally, "love person") is the dominant word for "spouse" (with separate terms for "wife" and "husband" originally being de-emphasized); the word once had a negative connotation, which it retains among many in Taiwan.

• Lian (戀) is not generally used alone, but instead as part of such terms as "being in love" (談戀愛, tan lian'ai—also containing ai), "lover" (戀人, lianren) or "homosexuality" (同性戀, tongxinglian).

• Qing (情), commonly meaning "feeling" or "emotion," often indicates "love" in several terms. It is contained in the word aiqing (愛情); qingren (情人) is a term for "lover."

In Confucianism, lian is a virtuous benevolent love. Lian should be pursued by all human beings, and reflects a moral life. The Chinese philosopher Mozi developed the concept of ai (愛) in reaction to Confucian lian. Ai, in Mohism, is universal love towards all beings, not just towards friends or family, without regard to reciprocation. Extravagance and offensive war are inimical to ai. Although Mozi's thought was influential, the Confucian lian is how most Chinese conceive of love.

Gănqíng (感情) is the "feeling" of a relationship, vaguely similar to empathy. A person will express love by building good gănqíng, accomplished through helping or working for another and emotional attachment toward another person or anything.

Yuanfen (緣份) is a connection of bound destinies. A meaningful relationship is often conceived of as dependent strong yuanfen. It is very similar to serendipity. A similar conceptualization in English is, "They were made for each other," "fate," or "destiny."

Zaolian (Simplified: 早恋, Traditional: 早戀, pinyin: zǎoliàn), literally "early love," is a contemporary term in frequent use for romantic feelings or attachments among children or adolescents. Zaolian describes both relationships among a teenage boyfriend and girlfriend as well as the "crushes" of early adolescence or childhood. The concept essentially indicates a prevalent belief in contemporary Chinese culture, which is that, due to the demands of their studies (especially true in the highly competitive educational system of China), youth should not form romantic attachments lest their jeopardize their chances for success in the future. Reports have appeared in Chinese newspapers and other media detailing the prevalence of the phenomenon and its perceived dangers to students and the fears of parents.

Japanese

In Japanese Buddhism, ai (愛) is passionate caring love, and a fundamental desire. It can develop towards either selfishness or selflessness and enlightenment.

Amae (甘え), a Japanese word meaning "indulgent dependence," is part of the child-rearing culture of Japan. Japanese mothers are expected to hug and indulge their children, and children are expected to reward their mothers by clinging and serving. Some sociologists have suggested that Japanese social interactions in later life are modeled on the mother-child amae.

Ancient Greek

Greek distinguishes several different senses in which the word "love" is used. For example, Ancient Greek has the words philia, eros, agape, storge, and xenia. However, with Greek (as with many other languages), it has been historically difficult to separate the meanings of these words totally. At the same time, the Ancient Greek text of the Bible has examples of the verb agapo having the same meaning as phileo.

Agape (ἀγάπη agápē) means love in modern-day Greek. The term s'agapo means I love you in Greek. The word agapo is the verb I love. It generally refers to a "pure," ideal type of love, rather than the physical attraction suggested by eros. However, there are some examples of agape used to mean the same as eros. It has also been translated as "love of the soul."

Eros (ἔρως érōs) is passionate love, with sensual desire and longing. The Greek word erota means in love. Plato refined his own definition. Although eros is initially felt for a person, with contemplation it becomes an appreciation of the beauty within that person, or even becomes appreciation of beauty itself. Eros helps the soul recall knowledge of beauty and contributes to an understanding of spiritual truth. Lovers and philosophers are all inspired to seek truth by eros. Some translations list it as "love of the body."

Philia (φιλία philía), a dispassionate virtuous love, was a concept developed by Aristotle. It includes loyalty to friends, family, and community, and requires virtue, equality, and familiarity. Philia is motivated by practical reasons; one or both of the parties benefit from the relationship. It can also mean "love of the mind."

Storge (στοργή storgē) is natural affection, like that felt by parents for offspring.

Xenia (ξενία xenía), hospitality, was an extremely important practice in Ancient Greece. It was an almost ritualized friendship formed between a host and his guest, who could previously have been strangers. The host fed and provided quarters for the guest, who was expected to repay only with gratitude. The importance of this can be seen throughout Greek mythology—in particular, Homer's Iliad and Odyssey.

Turkish (Shaman & Islamic)

In Turkish, the word "love" comes up with several meanings. A person can love a god, a person, parents, or family. But that person can "love" just one person from the opposite sex, which they call the word "aşk." Aşk is a feeling for to love, as it still is in Turkish today. The Turks used this word just for their romantic loves in a romantic or sexual sense. If a Turk says that he is in love (aşk) with somebody, it is not a love that a person can feel for his or her parents; it is just for one person, and it indicates a huge infatuation. The word is also common for Turkic languages, such as Kazakh (ғашық).

Ancient Roman (Latin)

The Latin language has several different verbs corresponding to the English word "love."

Amare is the basic word for to love, as it still is in Italian today. The Romans used it both in an affectionate sense as well as in a romantic or sexual sense. From this verb come amans—a lover, amator, "professional lover," often with the accessory notion of lechery—and amica, "girlfriend" in the English sense, often as well being applied euphemistically to a prostitute. The corresponding noun is amor, which is also used in the plural form to indicate love affairs or sexual adventures. This same root also produces amicus—"friend"—and amicitia, "friendship" (often based to mutual advantage, and corresponding sometimes more closely to "indebtedness" or "influence"). Cicero wrote a treatise called On Friendship (de Amicitia), which discusses the notion at some length. Ovid wrote a guide to dating called Ars Amatoria (The Art of Lovers), which addresses, in depth, everything from extramarital affairs to overprotective parents.

Complicating the picture somewhat, Latin sometimes uses amare where English would simply say to like. This notion, however, is much more generally expressed in Latin by placere or delectare, which are used more colloquially, the latter used frequently in the love poetry of Catullus.

Diligere often has the notion "to be affectionate for," "to esteem," and rarely if ever is used for romantic love. This word would be appropriate to describe the friendship of two men. The corresponding noun diligentia, however, has the meaning of "diligence" or "carefulness," and has little semantic overlap with the verb.

Observare is a synonym for diligere; despite the cognate with English, this verb and its corresponding noun, observantia, often denote "esteem" or "affection."

Caritas is used in Latin translations of the Christian Bible to mean "charitable love"; this meaning, however, is not found in Classical pagan Roman literature. As it arises from a conflation with a Greek word, there is no corresponding verb.

Comparison of Scientific Models

Biological models of love tend to see it as a mammalian drive, similar to hunger or thirst; psychology sees love as more of a social and cultural phenomenon. There are probably elements of truth in both views. Certainly love is influenced by hormones (such as oxytocin), neurotrophins (such as NGF), and pheromones, and how people think and behave in love is influenced by their conceptions of love. The conventional view in biology is that there are two major drives in love: sexual attraction and attachment. Attachment between adults is presumed to work on the same principles that lead an infant to become attached to its mother. The traditional psychological view sees love as being a combination of companionate love and passionate love. Passionate love is intense longing, and is often accompanied by physiological arousal (shortness of breath, rapid heart rate); companionate love is affection and a feeling of intimacy not accompanied by physiological arousal.

Studies have shown that brain scans of those infatuated by love display a resemblance to those with a mental illness. Love creates activity in the same area of the brain that hunger, thirst, and drug cravings create activity in. New love, therefore, could possibly be more physical than emotional. Over time, this reaction to love mellows, and different areas of the brain are activated, primarily ones involving long-term commitments. Dr. Andrew Newberg, a neuroscientist, suggests that this reaction to love is so similar to that of drugs because without love, humanity would die out.